What do we do with potatoes?

Twenty-one soldiers marched down a wooded trail. The man leading, Captain, led them in chant, and they responded in unison.

"What do we do when frying 'em?"

"Slice 'em long-ways into strips!"

Every few minutes they came upon a potato on the ground. Each time, Captain reached down, grabbed it, and tossed it in the closest wagon without breaking stride.

"What do we do after boiling 'em?"

"Mash 'em up with something blunt!"

At every crossroad, Captain sent a man down each path. They took whichever path one had spotted a potato. The men's grins grew as they eagerly marched onward.

"What do we do when roasting 'em?"

"Pierce through their skin with a fork!

They spotted a wagon. It was full of enough potatoes that the pile sat above the sides. Their chanting and marching speed increased.

"What do we do with the sprouts on 'em?"

"Cut off the eyes with a knife!"

They arrived at the wagon. Its front right wheel had slipped off the trail and was stuck in the mud of a gentle ravine.

The captain led them around to the side.

"What do we do to get more of 'em?"

"Bury 'em in soil and drown 'em!"

They saw a man, wearing the same uniform as them, frantically trying to lift the wheel. Captain walked over and grabbed him by the collar. He dragged him over to the men and held him up for all to see.

"What do we do once we've caught 'em?"