Applicants need not apply

In an otherwise dark room, a computer screen cast a harsh blue on a man's face.

Face identified. Please confirm the following to begin the job application:

Below was his name, address, birthdate, citizen status, and physical measurements.

He clicked "Continue."

Please fill out your work history.

He added his work history. "Continue."

The information is incorrect. Records show you worked at C8 Enterprises until May. Please try again.

He accidentally selected March. He corrected it.

A few generic work-related questions followed. Then the screen showed:

You have eaten at McDonald's four times in the last month. We take the health and healthcare costs of our employees very seriously. Are you willing to abstain from fast food while you are employed with us?

"Yes."

You have been sexually active with three people in the last fiscal year. We are extracting the relevant feelings from your former partners. One moment, please.

A minute passed.

Amy Finnegan felt the experience was "unsatisfactory." Please explain.

He remembered Amy didn't like his non-augmented body, so he typed "Beauty is subjective" and clicked "Continue."

We highly value our brand's physical presence. Are you willing to undergo surgery if necessary for your employment?

He clicked "Yes" then "Submit application." He held his breath.

Thank you! Unfortunately, we will not be considering you for this position. Best of luck elsewhere!

He sighed, and clicked on another job. His face was recognized, he confirmed his personal information, and saw the familiar screen:

Please fill out your work history.